Saturday, March 18, 2006

Pictures of our new room... for Emma!






Our new room is great- so much so that I actually dreamt last night that I had to leave it and was really, really sad. Odd, considering that the state of the weather lately has been making the entire state completely aggressive and depressed, always a happy combination, and I have been considering jumping on a plane to just about anywhere that´s got over five degrees. But having a laptop and a cosy room, and beer and potatoes, is holding me over. For now. If it´s not sunny by April I can´t be held accountable for my actions.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

White daze

It´s a miracle- I have seen the sun now for four days running. It has still been arschkalt (if it´s not to do with pigs, it´s to do with your bum…) but very pretty. There´s still snow everywhere and the combination of white covered trees, houses and pretty much anything horizontal and an endless blue sky is breathtaking. Where I´m teaching the apprentices has a little wood next to it with a disused railway track, and there´s a pedestrian bridge which goes over it quite high up. When I looked out on Monday it was white as far as the eye could see with two black tracks stretching out into the distance below me. Kind of reminded me of a British crime mystery, where an unidentified body is found in the snow. Creepy.

This week has been dull, Simon is recovering from having a tooth out and can´t entertain me and because I am broke from working so little over the last few months I can´t really indulge in retail therapy. Damn it. The nicest thing about this week has been moving into our new place, which is smaller than the old one but has many plusses. It is also a bit older and worse for wear, but has a very well-stocked kitchen with great knives, a dishwasher and some very lovely flatmates. We also have a great room with a much more comfortable bed that doesn´t squeak every time you breathe. And I finally have a bike again, which has been great in this weather.

I am starting to feel like all this shifting around is normal and that the life I have left behind is a bit of a dream- a normal reaction I suppose but odd nonetheless. Last night I dreamt I was unpacking boxes in my old room at Mum´s house- which has not been my room for almost ten years- and I kept finding all this stuff I didn´t recognise. It´s starting to feel normal to have only a few friends who live nearby, to never know where anything is, to ask for vocabulary all the time, to weigh the vegetables and print out a little price ticket yourself and to be really exotic. Actually that thing with the vegetables is a lie- I´ve never managed to remember and then I always have to hold up the whole queue. Bloody foreigners.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Yo ho ho... and clowns









Please note that I am not smoking- I hate cigarettes even more now that I am surrounded by them in closed rooms- we were just using props for the photo.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Too much Cologne

The weekend in Cologne for Carnival was long, hard and at times really exhilarating. But I think on the whole I have exhausted the possibilities for acting like a teenager and drinking and parting all weekend- there were times when I felt too old or too critical to be dressed up as a pirate singing songs about God and getting drunk. Symbolic of the weekend was the fact that the Cathedral was closed so that when we finally did get in an old grumpy looking priest threw us out with a curt "NO visitors". So much for Christian kindness.

From the moment we arrived at the train station we knew we weren´t in provincal Kiel-there were people of all ages dressed as clowns, pirates (we were not as orginal as I´d hoped), playboy bunnies, cowboys, dinosaurs, bears, American Indians, Bavarians (!!), devils, clowns, go-go dancers and of course clowns. Anyone who has a fear of clowns should not go to Carnival in Cologne. They tended to roam in packs of about six or seven, dressed in identical wigs and shiny sequined bodysuits. At one point on Friday evening we found ourselves in a small bar entirely surrounded by clowns, even the waiter was one. The barkeeper in his toga was a happy exception.

The main point of Carnival, and we weren´t even there on the really crazy days, Merry Wives Night and Rose Monday, is to go wild and "go foreign" ie. cheat on your spouse for one weekend of the year before you repent your sins and fast. But that´s just the theory, from what I could tell the main point was to get absolutely smashed first thing in the morning and keep drinking until you couldn´t stand up. All the while singing songs about how much you love Cologne and God, and drinking.

My favorite part was being allowed to dress up like an idiot and go out, and know you were in good company. Oh, and of course the many marching bands which randomly marched through the city playing oompah music.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Simon in Kiel




Last weekend Simon and I went out boozing on the town and I had a hangover for two days- I think I`m getting too old.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Exploding bikes

Today I over-filled my bike tyres and they exploded as I was driving to work. Whoops. Actually only one exploded, and thankfully I had alread noticed that something was wrong and stopped riding. I happened to be in the middle of an enormous car park and it sounded like an echoing gunshot. So then I had to schlepp the bike back to the railway station and catch the bus to work. I felt like a complete tool carrying a bike I had just been riding a minute before across the bridge.

Too make up for the universe decided that my new students would give me a rose for Valentines Day- totally sweet. They left it on my desk as I was going around the class and then I turned around and there was a beautiful long-stemmed red rose sitting there. Shucks. Just goes to show, being a foreigner is exotic.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Class angst

This week I began my classes at the vocational school. I have two groups and I´m also teaching the teachers, for two days a week, and in addition to my other classes. The overwhelming majority of the students in my classes are male, and the teachers are all male, because the female staff members are all language teachers themselves and have been barred from the class for being too good.

It´s a whole new experience to work with Germans in a German institution. In the teachers´ room every morning the colleagues- as they call themselves- shake each others´ hands and say "Moin", a typical greeting of northern Germany. Many of them have worked there for over twenty years, so I assume they have been shaking each others hands that entire time.

Almost every door in the school is locked, and I have an impressive bunch of keys which lets me into the classrooms, the teachers´ toilets and the cupboards with the dictionaries in them. It is not, however, an all-access key and I don´t think I can get into any of the metal or electrical workshops, although I haven´t tried.

The teachers are really friendly and helpful, and all the English teachers are keen to speak English with me and ask me questions they already know the answers to. I am getting a chance to improve my German though, as many of them don´t speak any English and expect me to speak German. To many I am Frau T*rsh, which sounds a bit like a S&M persona, so I´m trying to break in the use of Hanna instead. Yesterday I learnt that there are three different ways to say stapler in German: der Tacker, der Hefter and die Heftmaschine, but that no-one says the last becasue it´s so formal. Staples are Heftklammern. I´m also learning words like folder and photocopier, seemingly unimportant until you have two minutes to a lesson and can´t find the folder you need.

The students were a little terrified at first, but after an hour and half they seemed to relax. My main goal is to try to convey some enthusiasm for speaking English and to boost their confidence. They are all electrical engineer apprentices so I´m hoping to learn something about that profession which I have to admit I didn´t really even connect with anything very concrete before- at least now I know they deal with the electrical systems in big industrial concerns. It´s a start. Most of them are between sixteen and twenty, but a few are older. I have two classes of about twenty and one girl in each, poor thing.

In my first lessons I asked both groups to ask me questions about myself and they asked things like What´s your favorite drink and what do you think of the nightlife in Kiel. They also asked some surprisingly intelligent questions about Australia, like why isn´t Sydney the capital. Luckily I knew the answer to that one.

The best thing about teaching at the school will be having working-class students and becoming more aware of my own class prejudices. I had a moment of middle-class shame in the Friday lesson when a very nervous young man told me his mother worked for a newspaper. When I delightedly said that my Mum was a journalist and was his also, he stuttered and stopped, then told me in rushed and embarrassed German that his mother collected the old papers and sent them back to the factory.

Friday, February 03, 2006

ET

Yesterday I was riding my bike back to work when I decided to take a shortcut up a slightly less steep hill (Kiel only has one hill, the appropriately named Mountain street, and I have to ride up it at least once every bloody day) when I noticed a sign for a "US shop". In the first window there was a dummy (again appropriate) wearing trendy clothes that were supposed to remind you of army fatigues and holding a huge fake plastic rifle. Fair enough, I thought, that fits into the typical stereotype about Amis floating around Northern Germany. Looking at the next window, however, I almost fell off my bike laughing.

A one metre tall grey plastic alien, wearing sunglasses and smoking what looked very much like a big fat joint. I ask you. Is it any wonder the Germans seem to have such a weird relationship to the US? They love their aliens, they hate their military. It´s all become so clear now.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Indolence

Simon has been in Kiel for a week and has been a great roommate, apart from the fact that I have to go to work while he reads in bed, which is pretty cruel. But he´s been making up for it by cooking me dinnner and charming my friends, so I forgive him.

It´s been a weirdly normal week in Kiel, work is ticking along and the weather has actually been remarkably ok. Today it´s a balmy zero degrees, which is a thousand times better than the minus six it was last weekend. There´s somethihng about the minus sign that really affects me, it just isn´t natural to be so cold. I even had a dream that everyone I lived with was sitting around at the table complaining that the flat wasn´t warm enough. I wonder what that might mean?

The week began with a visit to the brilliantly named Sports Bar to watch American Football- well I say watch, I spent most of the time exclaiming at how fat some of the players were and paying out their ridiculous shiny pants. The Broncos lost, much to Matt´s mild disappointment, but I was more interested in how all our Australian sports names seem to be rip offs of the Yanks. Is there anything we haven´t claimed as our own which doesn´t belong to us?

I taught a very anti-Australia Day lesson on Thursday, much to the chagrin of some of my students who love us and think we´re nicer versions of the Americans. Bah. I told them all about the riots and Howards nationalist platform- turns out there´s no word in German for supremicist. I kept wanting to say Nazi but refrained.

Tonight we´re heading off to Ann´s for racklette my third to date, and as long as noone talks about football I´ll be happy.

And also... what the fuck was with that lamb ad?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Multi-kulti

In my bank class on Monday I was telling them about my weekend and I mentioned my cousin who has Czech parents but was born in Germany, and that I ate Mexcian food cooked by an American, and suddenly one of the bankers started laughing. When I asked him what was so funny he said: it´s all so mutli-kulti (German for multicultural)!

Uhhuh. Never really thought of Mexican food made from a packet called Old El something or other as being very authentically multicultural myself. I guess I sometimes underestimate just how culturally isolated it´s possible to be in a Western democracy- I think I annoyed my flatmate by being amazed she didn´t know what Borlotti beans were. Proving possibly just how much of a wanker I can be....

In that vein I have to mention the birthday party I went to on the weekend, which was a raclette, my first I think. It´s basically a grilled meat and melted cheese dish you make yourself at the table. It was great, especially with the racuous singing that began to accompany it as the night went on, and there was even a song about slaughtering a pig and making the sausage, which could have come straight out of a beer ad. I tried to maintain haughty amusment but after a few vodkas was belting out "die Wurst!" as good as the Gerrys.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Channukah pics





Did I mention that Mum and I went to a Channukah event in Rome, on Christmas night? Well the lovely American couple we met took some photos and I just got them. Please note the Rabbi in the cherry picker lighting the first flame.

Saturn returns

Wow. This week has been a series of amazing happenings that are all swimming around in my head a bit. First, Simon is coming on Friday and I´m heading down to Hamburg to meet him and have a few nights staying at Martin´s who is kindly giving up his bed for us. When I rang him to ask him I then found out that he is having a baby and moving house, not so great for my future stays in Hamburg but then again that kind of pales in comparison... He´s the first of any of my cousins to have children which is a leetle freaky but I´m dealing.

The other thing that happened is that I signed a contract to work for eight hours at a technical school in Kiel, with real people in real classrooms in a real school and it´s a bit scary. But I will have paid holidays and money for travel so it´s worth it. And it´s only till June.

I have just checked out Kate´s blog with its incredible tigers and will now stop writing, as my entire life now seems (even more) mundane. Why are there no tigers in Kiel?

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Finally... Kiel






Clearly, coming back to Kiel was the most idiotic choice I have made this year. It can only get better!

Roma






Titus´s Arch (notice the stolen Jewish treasures on the inside), the Trevi fountain (a coin was thrown in for those who requested it), St Peters in the Vatican (if you look closely you´ll see il Papa himself on the TV screens) and finally, Mum boozing it up on Xmas Day.

Firenze again




Mum and I by the Arno, disguised craftily as tourists.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Firenze





Mum looking gorgeous in her new hat, me and the view and finally the police and their snazzi bags in the piazza del Signora.

Milano





The Cathedral in Milan, the gorgeously expensive shopping arcade next to it where Mum bought her green rabbit hat, and mum and I at La Strada. I look very surpised to be there.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Living in a winter wonderland

Well I´m back in the little town of Kiel, somewhere near Denmark, and life is fine. The day I arrived back the whole town looked like a theme park, snow everywhere, glittering off the kerb and the trees and the rooftops. I tried to ride my bike and after about twenty metres discovered I can´t ride in the snow. Good to know. The worst thing was the seventy year old woman who happily rode past me as I lay in a snowdrift with my bike wrapped around my legs. Damn it.

New Year´s Eve, or Silvester as they call it here, was quite nice and I especially enjoyed the maniacal fireworks which made Kiel feel like a big city for about half an hour after midnight, as the sounds of the explosions boomed around the streets.

I´m kind of back at work, which is okay so far, although no bosses in sight yet. In an attempt to feel like a actually have muscles I´ve been jogging for a few days and now I can barely move my legs. But I did discover that´s it´s actually easier to run in three degrees than you think. I draw the line at wearing a beanie when I´m jogging though, and the leggings that people wear here are like some sort of eighties nightmare. I think when I think it´s a good idea to go for a run in minus five degree weather wearing leggings, a beanie and gloves that´s when I know it´s time to leave.

Monday, January 02, 2006

My hot flatmates and pigs on the wall



Two of them... flatmates not pigs, (with me looking by comparision like a brunette) before our fabulous New Year´s party, which was quite fun. My favorite part was all the firework mad boys, and a few shelias, who started letting off fireworks at midnight and got this crazed look in their eyes, stopped talking and starting setting off what bascially seemed to me to be small sticks of dynamite. I was a little cautious, so someone kindly gave me lady crackers, which were not surprisingly, very lame.

Photos of my room for Emma







I took these two months ago when my hair was shorter and there was still sun in the sky and leaves on the trees. It´s taken me this long just because I took them with someone else´s camera. Anyway this is my room until February, it still looks like this only with the trees outside covered in snow. And of course no sunlight.