Sunday, December 17, 2006

My island home

Alright I admit it- I got teary when the Sydney skyline came into view. But after a thirty hour plus journey surrounded by young families I think a tear in the eye is more than understandable. It was amazing though, to fly in, the sun over the wing, the sky looking like nothing more than every perfect summer's day from my idealised childhood memories.

I left Kiel and Simon also with a tear in my eye, because the weather was dreadful and it was already getting dark at three pm and I knew I wouldn't have Simon's voice in my ear for another whole month. Perhaps it's just leaving though, leaving and coming back which makes me emotional. Luckily on the plane I was sitting next to English people who are used to pretending emotions don't exist so politely ignored my stifled weeping.

Everything is the same- the pedestrian unfrienldy streets, the slight grottiness of a big city, the cafes, the miles of suburbia stretched out for, well, miles. The incredible friendliness of everyone is so relaxing, from the Qantas staff to the lady in the cafe, everyone is pretty damn chilled out. It's like walking into a parallel universe from the cramped everyday nastiness of Europe.

Although I'm deranged from tiredness I'm going to try and stay awake until at least 10pm so that I don't

Saturday, December 09, 2006


It's Friday evening, finally, and I'm at the end of a long week. This morning in my first session talking to an overworked, highly paid banker who has no private life (but was kind enough to give me xmas biscuits) who is paid at least eight times as much as me I thought: today is going to be a long day. This afternoon while looking at a diagram of a militay machine being presented by a student of mine I thought: I can't believe this is my life. Being here for so long is taking its toll, I feel exhausted from fittting in, from daily banging up against difference, from the bruises and bumps I carry around all the time. It's been such a long time since I've heard my old voice, telling a story to a group of friends in a way I used to know. I think it's time to go home for a while.

I thought as I was walking to my bike this morning how much being here has brought me, living in this narrow world of work and weekend has taught me so much about the way I react in situations I never imagined finding myself in. When I'm snubbed in shops, talked around at work, totally over my head, it's all become mundane. Not easy, but predictable.